Monday, 8 September 2008


Fortunately this isn’t quite as topical a, erm, topic so far this week. Still, it’s only a matter of time I expect so here are some types of rain:

1. Purple rain

Which has to be the best surely…. as endorsed by Prince / The Artist himself. Of course if such a thing really occurred in nature it’d be like living in a Ribena advert, which isn’t what anyone would want, especially since they’ve become less about cute round berries frolicking and going “woo!” and more about the violent ends suffered by the poor wee things en route to the bottling plant.

The lyrics don’t appear to shed much light on this meteorological weirdness, although there is a suggestion that it might be about heaven, as well as a relationship….. Maybe it’s time to revisit the film, which I saw on New Year’s Day once and laughed lots. I suspect it may not be that funny watched alone and sober though.

2. Sideways rain

More musical precipitation, as encountered in “Meet Me At The Pictures”, which is on the forthcoming (completely excellent) Mojo Fins album. To hear this in the meantime, you should see them live. You really should, because they are marvellous.

3. The rain in Spain

Does it fall mainly in the plain? Really? That would be convenient. Although “The rain in Spain falls mainly on the Galician-Portuguese border and parts of Northern Navarra” doesn’t have quite the same ring to it… or the same usefulness for elocution lessons. It would be true though.

4. Torrential rain

This is about as dramatic as rain gets, as reported by the Met Office, and is somewhere above “spits and spots”, “a light sprinkling of showers” and the unimaginatively-named “heavier rain”. Descriptive, but for a more thorough system of classification you should check out this.

5. Dramatic rain
If only this happened more in real life….. When there is thunder lightning and rain of the, for example, 9:8:6 variety to accompany moments of crisis it’s like being in a film. A dramatic film. Perhaps in a big dress with a small waist.

6. Acid rain

Which I’m sure we don’t hear about as much as we used to. Is this because it happens less now? Or just that it happens less in Northern Europe? Or is it that people are more worried about the over-arching issue of climate change? Hmmm…..

I’m pretty sure there’s more to be said about rain. Do send suggestions and I’ll revisit this later. When it’s raining, probably.