Two Short Lists of Not Much.....

2 Things I Have Not Been Doing:
It is very cold indeed. I have not written anything here for a while but am not hibernating.

8 Things I Have Been Doing
I have been running about trying to buy presents with appropriate care and attention but without having to go to a shopping centre on the Saturday before Christmas. I have written about my Christmas preparations before, and this December is proceeding pretty much as expected, although this year I have been making vast quantities of mincemeat.

I have also been telling everyone how excellent leg-warmers are. I have excellent thick, dark red wool leg-warmers. They are MARVELLOUS and I love them. I have also been showing them to people, enthusiastically pulling up my trouser leg and waving a woolly ankle in the air - "Look! Aren't they great! I'm so warm!!". This is not always appropriate.

I have been wondering how much it might snow tonight. If you have a snow day tomorrow I have ideas of what you can do with it here.

I have been listening to A Charlie Brown Christmas.

I have been amused by Christmas perfume adverts.

I have been stalking sydthecat, trying to take a photo of him with a Father Christmas hat hovering above his head. With limited success.

It's the thought [of spending $2640 on partridges and pear trees] that counts

The Christmas CD is playing in Starbucks today and the festive season is upon us. This takes over from their rather pleasing late 70s/early 80s compilation, so rather than being haunted by Squeeze I now find myself humming Dean Martin songs in the afternoon. Or, less pleasingly, Jingle Bell Rock*, which I CANNOT STAND. (In fact Christmas songs that have me fleeing shops or leaping for the skip button make a long list in themselves, so it is just as well I decided long since to stick to non-grumpy lists....).

This year, inspired by spotify playlists last year, we will be filling up on mince pies and sherry to the sounds of Nat King Cole, the Snoopy Christmas CD and James Brown's Funky Christmas. Oh yes.

The best Christmas song is, of course, The 12 Days of Christmas, being a long list of improbable gifts. Apparently it is not, as some had suggested, some kind of Catholic code during years of repression, and the goo-OOOld riiiings are in fact pheasants. From Monday you can check the cost of this extravagent list on the Christmas Price Index, but if you can't wait (or for an examination of the effects of recession on the cost of turtle doves) you could check last year's .

*Although wikipedia lists 56 artists who have recorded this, so it is yet possible that one of these versions will be at least tolerable. The Fall, for example, may have saved this for me, just.

A Decorative Interlude

Thank you to people who have said nice things and identified themselves as actual listingslightly readers. Some of you are not even relations. I find this heartening.

It is a shame that, having readers, there is not more reading material. Some ideas are simmering. In the meantime, I shall pretend this is a craft blog and demonstrate how to make a festive dove decoration.

Ingredients:
white card
white paper
scissors
glue
scalpel and cutting mat (not essential, but does make it a bit easier)

1. Draw a dove shape on white card and cut it out (this one is about 10cm long).

2. Cut out some strips of white paper (these are 10cm wide) and fold them in a concertina kind of a way about every centimetre.

3. Chop into the concertina-ed paper symmetrically so that when it is unfolded it makes a pattern.

4. Cut a letterbox-shaped hole in the dove card, which is big enough (but only just) to push the folded concertina-paper-wings through.

5. Fan out wings and attach in the middle with glue. Voila!

The first set of these I made was in about 1985 (with added glitter), following instructions from, I think, Blue Peter, so thank you to them, and also to my parents for wielding the scissors....

Countdown conundrum

It is Advent. Calendars abound, as do perfume adverts, large tins of chocolates, and sparkly lights.

As they say in adverts for financial products, past performance is not a guarantee of future results, which gives me some hope that this will be the year I arrive for Christmas on time, sober and with all my presents selected, bought and wrapped. This would be pleasing. My own countdown to Christmas will most likely be alternately highly organised and entirely shambolic as this list will demonstrate:

1st - 10th (approx) - State of denial, other than admiring sparkly lights
11th - Make lists of a) card recipients, b) present recipients, c) presents I would actually like for Christmas (too late now - in despair everyone has got me vouchers)
12th - Buy cards
13th - Write cards
14th - Send cards. Feel smug
15th - Get over-excited about decorating tree with sparkly lights etc
16th - Go to shops and freak out in crowds - go home for a cup of tea and a sit down
17th - Buy presents online
18th - Dash about trying to see everyone I know
19th - Decide presents bought online won't arrive in time and rush to the shops
20th - Online presents arrive
21st - Solstice! Go to Burning of the Clocks and then pub
22nd - Recovery
23rd - Last minute shopping and more pre-Christmas drinks
24th - Arrive at parents' house hungover, and go straight to the traditional Christmas Eve pub gathering / birthday celebrations
25th - In bosom of family. Eat, drink, relax.