Age of Wondering

It has been proved to be the coldest winter since I was much too small to remember, and there has been too much ice and not enough talking.

This year, because I am very very very lucky, I went to a hot and sunny place for a week, with lovely people and a suitcase with 4 jumpers in that I didn't need. In February next year I will look at pictures of the hot and sunny place, have a bath and retire to bed with a pina colada and a fat paperback.

And shall we do this? Because it would be excellent.

Two Short Lists of Not Much.....

2 Things I Have Not Been Doing:
It is very cold indeed. I have not written anything here for a while but am not hibernating.

8 Things I Have Been Doing
I have been running about trying to buy presents with appropriate care and attention but without having to go to a shopping centre on the Saturday before Christmas. I have written about my Christmas preparations before, and this December is proceeding pretty much as expected, although this year I have been making vast quantities of mincemeat.

I have also been telling everyone how excellent leg-warmers are. I have excellent thick, dark red wool leg-warmers. They are MARVELLOUS and I love them. I have also been showing them to people, enthusiastically pulling up my trouser leg and waving a woolly ankle in the air - "Look! Aren't they great! I'm so warm!!". This is not always appropriate.

I have been wondering how much it might snow tonight. If you have a snow day tomorrow I have ideas of what you can do with it here.

I have been listening to A Charlie Brown Christmas.

I have been amused by Christmas perfume adverts.

I have been stalking sydthecat, trying to take a photo of him with a Father Christmas hat hovering above his head. With limited success.

Infrequently Asked Questions

In which I update my reader(s) and herald the dawn of a new era, or, at least, of Spring.

1. Would you like a coffee?
Why yes, thank you! But wait...... is it the afternoon? And I'm not out this evening? Then tea please.

2. Where are you and what have you been up to?
Hibernating.

3. What is the best way to stay cheerful in the winter months?
Plan A: Get hold of the biggest, fluffiest duvet possible, wrap yourself in it and wait for spring. Administer coffee at regular intervals. Dine on sausage and mash. Persuade a cat to sleep on your feet. Read.
Disclaimer - You may find this interferes unduly with your work and relationships. In which case:
Plan B: See the lemurs and marvel. Consider owls. Dine on sausage and mash. Read.

4. Aren't you a little bit obsessed with lemurs?
Yes.

5. Are you also obsessed with hibernation?
Yes. There will now be a ban on discussing this matter until Winter.

Raindrops keep falling on my head, messing up my travel plans, getting in my shoes and generally being annoying.

Look at me, but a few days ago, full of optimism! What a fool I was... no sooner do I suggest that the worst may be over, that February has redeeming features and that hibernation is not the only sensible option, than this happens - biblical-style lashings of rain, that's what. I have been thwarted in my attempts to reach the class I should have been teaching tonight due to rail and road links being severed, and without waterproof trousers too.

If this continues I shall, as usual, contemplate building an ark to save myself, Mr Listingslightly and sydthecat, as well as any other creatures we pass by (lemurs or goats preferably, and in pairs if possible). However, I have also considered the fact that sydthecat may secretly be a Turkish swimming cat, as I have always hoped. He does look rather like he might be, as you can see by comparing these pictures with this one.

I met his mothercat, and she didn't look much like a swimming cat, but I like to think that his fathercat swam to Brighton from distant shores.

Intriguingly, there is a story linking Noah (of ark fame) and swimming cats here.

Hmmm.... I see I have not managed to contrive a list into this post, although there are interesting facts and links to pictures of swimming cats as consolation. I have been working on a cat-based theory, though, and will soon share it.

More grumbling about the cold

You may have gathered that I do not like January. It is cold, dark, and awash with "flu-like viruses" (i.e. "it's worse than a cold, it's not flu, your guess is as good as mine but I feel grim").

With the exception of some birthdays of lovely people, it's been a month best spent indoors, with a supply of DVDs, hearty food and a cat. Hibernation is also a good way to save £££, as noted previously, which is useful in the lean post-Christmas, post-early-pay-cheque wilderness of the end of a long month.

Still, February dawns, and although also cold, dark and pestilent, it at least has the decency to be short. And at the end of it: Spring (by my reckoning at least). My favourite fact (from this site) - "the Anglo-Saxons called February "Sol-monath" (cake-month) because cakes were offered to the gods during that month". Good plan. Cake-month it is then.

Meanwhile here are some notable February-themed events:

1. Candlemas - 2nd February
Notable for being the mid point between the Winter Solstice and the Spring Equinox, so we are 1/4 way towards midsummer already...... that was supposed to be a good thing, but now I read this and feel looming guilt at my lack of resolution progress. Tsk.

2. Groundhog Day - 2nd February also
In which a small mammal predicts an early spring or six more weeks of winter. According to the 13 groundhogs listed on Wikipedia, only five predict an early spring this year. Pants.

3. Valentine's Day
On which more another time.

4. Pancake Day
Which as a secular celebration is extra fun. Whereas in the past (or a stricter present) people would eat up all the fatty stuff before giving it up for Lent, now people (well, me anyway) eat all the fatty stuff and think "I'd forgotten how great pancakes are - let's do this again next week..."

5. New clothes in the shops
Are there blue and white clothes in the shops? Are some of them stripy? Do you look at them and think "Classic French resort wear, to be accessorised with a red handbag and a background of yachts", or even "Hmmm, perhaps it's time to stop wearing a duvet"? Then soon it will be Spring.

"Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes...."

....are quite annoying and also no-one pronounces it eyeLAshes.

It is snowing. It has been snowing for some time and there is a lot of snow out there. Here are some things to play with (indoors) until it thaws:

1. Make A Flake
You could do this with paper, but you'd need to find where you put it, and some scissors and tidy up afterwards. There's no glitter option with this online version though.

2. Make Another Flake and Watch It Twirl in 2 or 3D

3. Make a Snowball
If you have a well-stocked drinks cabinet. And if you like advocaat-based cocktails. And if you don't have anything going on later for which you need to be sober.

4. Dream of a White Christmas
Get out some tinsel, crack open the sherry (or advocaat-based cocktail) and settle down in front of an old film.

5. Rewrite the lyrics to "My favourite things"
Brown paper packages tied up with string - yes. Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes - no. Plus, I haven't been bitten by a dog or stung by a bee [grabs wooden table supersitiously], but remembering bright copper kettles would, I think, be unlikely to make it all better. Still, Maria the nun was much tougher than me, what with grouchy naval captains, 3 million children to look after and nazis to escape from. Lemurs, Alvin the Lobster, victoria sponge cake, Cary Grant - that's much more like it.